The uncertainty about Santa's list-making rubric has him slightly horrified that he didn't keep a tally of his actions so he could be extra nice to balance things out and guarantee presents under the tree.
I tried to reassure him, but he's set on fretting until he sees a present with his name on it.
Dear Simon J. Bun,
ReplyDeleteI understand you're fretting about not getting a present. Do not worry, you have been a very good bunny and were it just up to me (Mrs. Claus told me I couldn't), you would get an entire forest of 'nanas. Continue to be a good brother to River and a loving bun-son to your mom and dad and I'll see about that Banana Forest next year.
Love,
Santa
p.s. You can do Binkies now.
You have made Simon a very happy little bun! He binkied himself to exhaustion and woke up to a special Christmas breakfast and presents. He wanted to thank you in person, but since you're already at the north pole and tired from your very long work day, this will have to do. :)
DeleteDear Simon,
DeleteWhile it is true that I live in the North Pole, Mrs. Clause and I like to take a 3 month vacation after Christmas. There is hardly any internet here so this is the first time I got to see your message. Give your sister and parents a kiss for New Years.
Love,
Santa
p.s. If you ever go on vacation to someplace warm, be sure to change first. Wearing a red velvet suit and leather boots in 90+ degree weather was not a wise decision in hindsight.
Simon says:
DeleteDear Santa,
Will do (even though River tastes like cooties and the humans aren't much better)! I was wondering if this would qualify me as being extra good and if it would be possible to maybe get an extra present next year if you have room in your sleigh? Just something to think about--I don't need an answer right away...take your time. As for overheating, I suggest a nice cool banana daiquiri or carrotini by the pool. Or perhaps something with a bit of hops? ;)
Love,
Simon J. Bun (your most favorite bunny in the whole wide world)