A clear winner.

Simon: [wiggle-butts across the living room]  🎵 I'm happier than you are! 🎶
River:  Meh.  Get off my lawn carpet!

Harrumph!

Something about Simon's face in this pic reminds me of a crotchety old man muttering about darned kids and how they should get off his lawn.  I think he would be a bit more polite about it, though.  Maybe mumbling, "Excuse me, little human, but could you please get off my purple towel?  It took me forever to get it just right and now you're wrinkling it and making it smell like human."