Simon's dilemma "Do I give my fluffy thumper or River my grooming attention?"Simon J. Bun, I say alternate between the two! I bet you get treats from mom for being a nice brother....and if you don't, go up to mom and kiss her nose and ask for a treat.
Simon says, "True wisdom is taking the middle path. Thank you, kind human! I'll nibble oats and nose bonk the little human in your honor." :)
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